As I was typing this, I began to get more and more passionate about it. This was a raw expression of what was on my mind tonight and I am in no way, shape or form trying to brag. at all. Like I said, I was just trying to share a piece of my heart.
__
I don't consider myself an overly smart person.
I made mostly B's in school, and that's always just been okay for me.
I don't believe in stressing myself out to make straight A's.
That's not to say I never made A's and that I never try to do better, because I do. I do all my homework and I study. I try my hardest but I am just a B student. It's just who I am.
Average.
Fast forward to college. I definitely have to study more and it takes a lot more effort to make the grades that I do.
You should know I was shocked when I found out that I had made the Dean's List.
Literally, shocked.
Me? The girl who struggles to get B's? The girl who is just an average student. No way.
I then told myself that's it's only because I go to community college and that's for dumb people.
Of course I made the Dean's List, it's only for dumb people, like me.
Fast forward again, to the beginning of the semester. I was taking an Intro to Philosophy course and I was really nervous. I had heard from others that it was a really tough class. The readings were hard and the teacher was really critical.
I was dreading it, but I needed it to graduate.
So, I hesitantly took it.
and to my surprise, I liked it.
The readings were interesting and I enjoyed sharing my opinion.
but when our first term paper was due (which was 20% of our overall grade),
I was seriously stressing out.
what if he thinks my opinion is dumb?
what if he laughs at it and throws it in the garbage?
what if my classmates write better than I do?
what if I can't find anything to talk about?
after all, all I am is average.
I did it though, all 5 pages.
My hand was shaking as I turned it in.
(yes, I have written college essay's before, but none this challenging)
and a few days later, as he handed my paper back, I didn't even want to flip it over.
I knew it was going to be bad.
no way.
not me.
not an A-!?!?!?!?!
Surely it was the wrong paper.
Surely he didn't read it all.
Surely, it was incorrect.
but I was the one who was wrong.
I...me...this girl,
made an A on my very first philosophy paper.
I thought
maybe, just maybe, I am..... smart.
but then I had a realization.
Why am I holding myself to the standards other's have set for me?
Why am I letting their negative labels affect who I am?
I earned this!
I deserved this A-.
I worked my a** off to write this paper.
In fact, I am always working my hardest to get the grades I do.
and even though I do my best, it's still not good enough for some people.
and you know what? I am sick and tired of not giving myself the credit I deserve.
I freaking made the deans list!!
I made an A!!! on my very first philosophical essay.
Thats a big deal.
Who the hell cares if I go to community college or not.
I'm sick of hearing it's for dumb people.
It's for smart people who don't want to waste their money.
and it's just as much hard work as any university.
I declare that I am a smart person, despite what others may think.
Something in my daily devotional from Joel Osteen really hit home for me.
It said:
"As a teenager, Walt Disney was told by his art instructor that he wasn’t creative. He didn’t have any imagination. Disney was smart enough to remove that label. He went on to do pretty well. Lucille Ball was told that she didn’t have any acting skills. She should try a different profession. She removed that label. Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade. He was told he wasn’t smart enough. He went on to become one of the greatest Prime Ministers that ever lived. The common denominator in the success of these people is that they chose to remove the negative labels. It’s the same way today. Don’t focus on what others say; focus on what God says. Remove the negative labels and embrace who God created you to be."
So, from now on, I am not going to let other's negative labels hold me back, and you should too!
I am going be everything that God had created me to be.