I work in a preschool and I also nanny and babysit on the side. I couldn't be happier doing what I do.
You see, there isn't ever a dull moment or a time when I look at the clock thinking "gosh, is it over yet!?!"...okay, maybe there is a few of the moments, but they are rare. What I love the most about my jobs are the kids. (obviously) In case you didn't know this already, children are freaking hilarious. There are times where I can't control my laughter because they cracked me up so much. (There are other times that I really really have to control it by biting my lips and stifle my laughter for fear that they will repeat what they just said to their parents because I thought it was funny).
Anyway, all that's to say, that I've been trying my hardest to write down some of the really funny ones to share with you guys. Now, I am unsure about how this humor will play over the computer, so this post could be not funny at all, but I assure you, they were hilarious at the time. Believe me.
Don't worry, though, keep reading...I save the best for last ;)
First one...let me set the scene for you. I am sitting in a first grade class observing for my college course. The teacher was going through a powerpoint about landmarks. (why the teacher decided to teach 1st graders via a powerpoint is another issue for another day). Anyway, so I was sitting at an empty desk next to a little boy. The teacher flips to "Geysers" and begins to explain what a geyser is. I'm looking down, writing notes and the class is supposed to be filling in papers. The little bright eyed boy sitting next to me, looks up from his paper and whipsers:
"Wow. I wish I had a chocolate geyser in my backyard."
Me too, buddy. Me too.
2. I'm standing at the door checking in all the kids into my class. A sweet girl walks up to my door, and I begin writing her info down. I notice she has a tiny (I can't say this enough, it was tiny) pocket bible with her. So proud that she had brought it to class, I say enthusiastically, "How awesome is it that you brought your bible today!"
She looks at me, with a stark, deadpan face and says in a monotone voice, "That's not a bible. That's my iPad." Me, completely and utterly shocked at her reply, kind of giggle and looks at her mom thinking she would be laughing too. Her face was stone cold, not a hint of humor crosses her face.
Ok, then. Just me. I see though where your daughter gets her facial expressions from.
So she comes inside and sits down at the table, whips out her
3. I generally avoid asking about Santa/tooth fairy etc. because there are so many different families who have different traditions, I don't want to ruin it for anyone. But the following conversation happened in the middle of April, (almost 5 months after Christmas, mind you.)
A little boy kept going around knocking everyone's lego towers down. I kindly pulled him aside and redirected him telling him that it wasn't nice to knock down other people's towers. A rather bossy little girl walks up to us and says matter-of-factly, "He's being naughty."
Then, she gets rather close to his face and says, "You know Santa's watching, right?!?"
That must've done the trick, though, because the little boy stopped knocking down their towers.
4. Me and about 4 children in my preschool class (they are about 3yrs) are sitting around a table coloring. Another little girl gets dropped off into the class and walks over to the table. I notice she is wearing a princess costume and I say "Wow, you look so beautiful! Who are you today?" (meaning which princess she was)
She replies, "I'm princess Auora!"
Before I even have time to reply, another boy, named Matthew, who is also sitting at the table, looks at me and calls out, "I'm just Matthew today" with a look of disappointment flashing across his face.
5. Another mom comes to drop of her child into my class. I greet her at the door and the boy bolts inside and begins to run all the way around the class in circles. I try to catch his attention to tell him that we can't run inside with no luck at hindering him. The mom steps in and screams "DAVID. DAAAAAVIIIIIIIDDD. HEY! COME HERE!"
David stops running and walks slowly over to his mother. His head hangs low as he reaches her.
She lowers her voice half a decibel, (which is really still a scream), "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!?! WHAT BUILDING ARE YOU IN????"
David looks up at the ceiling and really thinks hard for a minute. When he finally comes up with his answer he says quietly, "This one."
Both the mom and I just look at each other and completely fail at stifling our laughter.
Hey, I like the way you think, David.
6. This one isn't from work, it's from my sweet, youngest cousin, Will. He's in first grade.
It was a thursday and his mom (my aunt) and I picked him up for school and began chatting about how his day was. My aunt then asks him this: "Hey, do you have anything big going on tomorrow at school? We might have to call you out early so we can get started on our road trip earlier."
There was silence for a little while as he was recalling what his plans were for that Friday. Finally, he replies. "Well, there is one thing."
"Well, what is it?" my aunt said curiously.
"Tomorrow is Mac and Cheese day at lunch... and I really don't wanna miss the Mac & Cheese."
You've definitely got your priorities straight,Will. I admire that.
Side note: guess what we had for dinner that night just for him ;)
here's a hint: Mac&Cheese.
and finally, 7.
I love to give all my kids hugs at the end of the day. So when their parent comes to the door, I typically pick them up and give them a big hug then hand them over to their mom/dad.
So I was doing just that when I picked up a boy and gave him a long hug, as it was the last day of class before break. He finally pulls back, and as I'm still holding him, he looks me in the eye. He asks in the most concerned voice, "Was that good for you?"
I wish I could just show you the look on the mother's face, she was mortified. I, on the other hand, about died of laughter. How does one even reply to that question (remember, this is coming out of a 4 year old)
That's all for now! Hopefully at least one of these brought a smile to your face. Unfortunately there are plenty more, but I don't always get the chance to write them down and I end up forgetting them because my memory is crap.