Thursday, May 22, 2014

Don't you ever tell me that "you can't live without me." I will punch you in the face.

You know when people say 'I would die without you.” or “I couldn't live without you.” to their significant others?  (In our culture, said phrase is used as a way to describe an exaggerated, all-consuming adoration for their girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife.)

 I call bullshit. 

In fact, that's the biggest amount of horse malarkey I've ever heard.


NEWS FLASH! No! You WILL NOT die without that person. I repeat, you will NOT die. You will carry on. You will pick yourself up and you will eventually, in your own time, move on with your life. Sure, it will be hard. There will be good moments and some pretty bad ones. There will be times where you're driving down the road and you will see a sign on the street that will remind you of a time you once shared with that person and there will be this pang of emptiness in your heart, but it will not kill you.You will make it. There will be times where your pain will be so strong and agonizing that you may feel as if you are dying, but you won't. You will move along, carrying those feelings with you, trying and sometimes failing in finding balance between pain and happiness and you will be fine. You are alive and you should cherish that. No loss, no matter how significant, should take that simple gift from you.

Why has our culture fabricated this lie? Isn't it basically saying that I have absolutely no worth outside of this other human being and that continuing my existence without that person is a complete and utter waste. That's a lie.

The truth is that I have worth and value just for the simple fact that I am breathing. I am valued because I was lucky enough to make it onto this world and for that, I should be endlessly thankful. No other person, no matter how important, could ever take that gift away from me.
 Let me repeat this. YOUR VALUE IS NOT INHIBITED BY OTHER'S CHOICES. You have value not because of others and their presence in your life, but simply because you are. Simple as that. 

Are you following me?

Now, I, personally, have never 'lost' love (I've never been 'in love' either, but that's another story). So, I do understand that technically, I have no pretense to claim to know what said pain feels like, be it death or a breakup. But I do know how it feels to have to let go of certain people in my life and it sucks...balls. But their reason to leave should in no way shape or form affect the way that I choose to continue my existence on this planet.  I am not the choices others make. The only thing that I can control in my life, is myself, and forgive me for choosing to live my life for me and not wasting any precious second on this earth on someone who doesn't choose reciprocate in having me in theirs. Sure, I still feel the pain of their absence, but I won't allow that pain to consume my life and inhibit myself from growing and evolving as a human being. We all owe it to ourselves, the universe even, to pick up the pieces they left behind and carry on with our lives. 

So, please never ever use that phrase. Don't you ever tell me that "you can't live without me." I will punch you in the face. And then probably hug you and tell you that you are way more valuable as an individual to say such things. 

(Note: I don't actually plan on punching anyone in the face. I don't think my soul has the capacity to do such things, but I was serious about that hugging part.)


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