Lets start here:
I've never had a "serious" boyfriend. There. I said it.
Sure, I had several 'boyfriends' in grade school, but those don't count. Do they?
It's not because I am against dating or anything like that. Trust me, it would've been nice to have a date to prom and someone to hang out with on the weekends. But it just never happened for me. I'd like to say it was because no one was interested in me. My family begs to differ, but that's another story.
Anyways, since I never really dated anyone, I found myself reading a lot of love stories. (hence my love for nicholas sparks and the start of my troubles).
They left me wanting more. More than just the average love. More than just meeting online or in college or at work, you know more than just the average.
I wanted a passionate, enchanting, all consuming love story. It made me want someone just like in those love stories. Someone who is patient, kind, and beguiling. He would know every detail about me and he'd care for me more than he does for himself. He's funny, caring and kind. He'd jump in front of a car for me, and he would never leave me.
I want more.
(See, cheesy!! I know! but it's the truth...)
But is that all it really is, a fairytale?
Can that kind of passionate, all consuming kind of love really exist?
Part of me feels like wanting that kind of love is the same as me wishing that some sparkly vampire or even Prince Charming will fall in love with me. I will spend my whole life waiting for something that will never come.
Am I hoping, wishing for something that will never happen?
A while ago, my biggest fear would be that I'd end up alone at the end of my life. But I've come to realize that that's not the worst thing that could happen to me. I think I've accepted that I will probably never find a love like that.
But you know what? I will still have my happily ever after. I will still fall in love, just in other ways...with cities, with my job, with memories. I will still be loved by my friends and my family. And if love does find me, I will run full force with open arms, but I won't wait my entire life for it.
and if you ask me, that's the best love story I've ever heard.
